I have known for a very long time that 2 things are going to be be impossible for me to move past. 1) if God forbid my mom isn't around, and 2) if Jesse leaves me.
Well the 2nd of the two is about to happen. And only God can help me through this. For i am completely incapable of handling this. You know what's funny? I asked him to leave.
Sigh....
It's true. I love him more than i love myself. But it's hard for me to prove that, when I've done so much to show him otherwise. I know. I'm a loser.
God help me!
Monday, September 21, 2015
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Expectations -
I can imagine how many will disagree with what I am about to say here, but it needs to be said in my humble opinion. Before i say it though, i want to point out that whatever i write in my blogs is exactly what I say it is, "my opinion". I don't claim to know everything. I honestly don't know much about a lot of subjects. I dabble here and there on several different topics, but i can only say I am an expert on a few. In any case, here goes nothing.
Do you know why you get disappointed? Whether it's with a person, or a situation, or in general? It isn't because someone did or say something. Well yes it is, but there is more to it then that. We get disappointed because we have expectations. We expect people to act a certain way. Behave a specific way. Act in a mature manner or be respectful. Right? And when they don't, we become disappointed. So is it that person who has disappointed you or is it the fact that you held a belief which ended up not being true. Does that make sense?
Example: You are friends with someone. You have been friends for a long time. You know them and understand their behaviors. Based on your knowledge of this individual you develop an opinion of them. An opinion that leads to you having faith in them to do things a certain way, behave a certain way, act a certain way. And when they don't, you are upset and disappointed. You never shared your expectations with your friend. It was always a given. 'they should know better...' or, '...they know that isn't right...' But you never said it to them. You simply expected it of them.
So who is it that let whom down? Is it the friend who was unaware of your expectations, or is it yourself that held certain expectations of this individual?
Well that's my opinion at least. Take it for what it is. I say, don't expect anyone to act any specific way. And never say someone isn't capable of doing certain acts of behaving a certain way. As anyone and everyone is capable of doing anything and everything. Pretty big statement there, eh? Well I believe it to be true. Given the right circumstances, anyone is capable of saying and doing anything. So don't build yourself up for disappointment. Simply let people be who they are. And be yourself. Expectations lead to sadness and disappointment. I know this won't change people having expectations. I simply hope that they will at least look at why they are disappointed a bit differently.
Do you know why you get disappointed? Whether it's with a person, or a situation, or in general? It isn't because someone did or say something. Well yes it is, but there is more to it then that. We get disappointed because we have expectations. We expect people to act a certain way. Behave a specific way. Act in a mature manner or be respectful. Right? And when they don't, we become disappointed. So is it that person who has disappointed you or is it the fact that you held a belief which ended up not being true. Does that make sense?
Example: You are friends with someone. You have been friends for a long time. You know them and understand their behaviors. Based on your knowledge of this individual you develop an opinion of them. An opinion that leads to you having faith in them to do things a certain way, behave a certain way, act a certain way. And when they don't, you are upset and disappointed. You never shared your expectations with your friend. It was always a given. 'they should know better...' or, '...they know that isn't right...' But you never said it to them. You simply expected it of them.
So who is it that let whom down? Is it the friend who was unaware of your expectations, or is it yourself that held certain expectations of this individual?
Well that's my opinion at least. Take it for what it is. I say, don't expect anyone to act any specific way. And never say someone isn't capable of doing certain acts of behaving a certain way. As anyone and everyone is capable of doing anything and everything. Pretty big statement there, eh? Well I believe it to be true. Given the right circumstances, anyone is capable of saying and doing anything. So don't build yourself up for disappointment. Simply let people be who they are. And be yourself. Expectations lead to sadness and disappointment. I know this won't change people having expectations. I simply hope that they will at least look at why they are disappointed a bit differently.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Inspiration or Truth...
Some say they love my writing style.
That it keeps them interested.
They want to read on to see what's next.
While others are hurt by my words.
They find it sorrowful.
Sad, disappointing, and at times mean.
What exactly am i trying to accomplish with my writing? I have a blog soley dedicated to my God and His word. And then this one for random thoughts. Thoughts that range from funny things to deep rooted pain, and everything in between. But what's the point? What am i aiming at? Am i trying to inspire those who may find inspiration. Or am i trying to hurt the ones who get hurt.
I wish i had a simple answer. Truth is, i write because i have to. There is not one person alive or dead, that knows me, or understands me. There used to be one. Yeah there was one who did. Until they gave up. Leaving me with these thoughts...words, and these feelings. These three come at me so fast and so strong, that it's hard to keep 'em straight. Nothing truly makes sense anymore. Not a damn thing.
So, to those I'm bringing inspiration i say, I'm glad. For those that find themselves 'not alone' after reading my writing, i say, you aren't alone. And for those that are hurt by my writing i say, I'm sorry, and join the club. I too am hurting while i write.
As i write to get the thoughts, words, and these feelings out. I write because i must. It's my only friend. It's my only outlet. It's mine...
I said to someone this morning that, "Love with a person is an illusion. It isn't real. It isn't forever. There is only one love that's eternal. God's love for us. And we take that for granted daily."
Inspiration or truth or hurt...i write because i think it's the only way i won't go mad.
That it keeps them interested.
They want to read on to see what's next.
While others are hurt by my words.
They find it sorrowful.
Sad, disappointing, and at times mean.
What exactly am i trying to accomplish with my writing? I have a blog soley dedicated to my God and His word. And then this one for random thoughts. Thoughts that range from funny things to deep rooted pain, and everything in between. But what's the point? What am i aiming at? Am i trying to inspire those who may find inspiration. Or am i trying to hurt the ones who get hurt.
I wish i had a simple answer. Truth is, i write because i have to. There is not one person alive or dead, that knows me, or understands me. There used to be one. Yeah there was one who did. Until they gave up. Leaving me with these thoughts...words, and these feelings. These three come at me so fast and so strong, that it's hard to keep 'em straight. Nothing truly makes sense anymore. Not a damn thing.
So, to those I'm bringing inspiration i say, I'm glad. For those that find themselves 'not alone' after reading my writing, i say, you aren't alone. And for those that are hurt by my writing i say, I'm sorry, and join the club. I too am hurting while i write.
As i write to get the thoughts, words, and these feelings out. I write because i must. It's my only friend. It's my only outlet. It's mine...
I said to someone this morning that, "Love with a person is an illusion. It isn't real. It isn't forever. There is only one love that's eternal. God's love for us. And we take that for granted daily."
Inspiration or truth or hurt...i write because i think it's the only way i won't go mad.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Down in the dumps...
In his own way he always tries to help.
Unfortunately the distance between us has grown rather than diminish.
We've gone through so much.
But never like this.
Never this way before.
He blames me.
I blame me to an extent too.
But I know it isn't all me.
I just don't delude myself anymore.
I've lost all sense of patience I had.
Everything annoys me.
Everyone annoys me.
No one has the right words.
Including me.
Nothing seems right.
Nowhere seems peaceful.
I have no peace in my life.
I am wandering.
On and about this earth.
With nothing to hold on to.
Nothing to call my own.
Nothing to regard.
Just me.
And an emptiness.
That is so consuming.
So overwhelming.
That I can't even ask for a hand.
For a finger.
Someone to grab hold.
Cause I don't want to drag them down.
I need to be in this hollowness.
Alone.
Till I see the glimmer.
Not anyone can show it.
Not everyone can see it.
But it exists.
The glimmer of hope.
Of peace.
Of rest.
Of comfort.
The glimmer that only God can provide.
I stay in this darkness.
Wait for the day.
God pulls me out.
Towards the light.
Till that day...
In this vastness I call my heart I must remain.
Alone.
With my thoughts.
Those horrid ugly disappointing thoughts.
But I believe still...
Yes I believe.
For I know the day will come.
When I will be one with my Lord.
Unfortunately the distance between us has grown rather than diminish.
We've gone through so much.
But never like this.
Never this way before.
He blames me.
I blame me to an extent too.
But I know it isn't all me.
I just don't delude myself anymore.
I've lost all sense of patience I had.
Everything annoys me.
Everyone annoys me.
No one has the right words.
Including me.
Nothing seems right.
Nowhere seems peaceful.
I have no peace in my life.
I am wandering.
On and about this earth.
With nothing to hold on to.
Nothing to call my own.
Nothing to regard.
Just me.
And an emptiness.
That is so consuming.
So overwhelming.
That I can't even ask for a hand.
For a finger.
Someone to grab hold.
Cause I don't want to drag them down.
I need to be in this hollowness.
Alone.
Till I see the glimmer.
Not anyone can show it.
Not everyone can see it.
But it exists.
The glimmer of hope.
Of peace.
Of rest.
Of comfort.
The glimmer that only God can provide.
I stay in this darkness.
Wait for the day.
God pulls me out.
Towards the light.
Till that day...
In this vastness I call my heart I must remain.
Alone.
With my thoughts.
Those horrid ugly disappointing thoughts.
But I believe still...
Yes I believe.
For I know the day will come.
When I will be one with my Lord.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Slow down...
Here's a scenario-
You snooze the alarm till you can snooze no more...
You grudgingly get up and head to your porcelain throne.
You grab the hair pins bag along the way.
With your eyes closed you start putting your hair up in every which way.
Why you may ask?
Well because you are running late and don't have the time to wash it. Not to mention you snoozed one too many times...
Alright, all done.
Take a selfie of the hair.
Looks terrible.
Take it all out....repeat.
Another picture....more pins....take out repeat...
This goes on for 12 minutes longer than it should have.
Wait, wasn't i running late?
Yeah.
Every time we try to rush ourselves. Every time we try to make our bodies move faster than it wants to (at any particular time), everything begins to happen in slow motion. I'm no expert but i think that's our body and mind telling us to slow the heck down.
There will always be time for work. Time to do chores. Time to take care of everything you need to. But you were given only one body and one mind...don't lose it over any stupid ol' __________ (you fill in the blanks).
Slow down and smell the rotten smell all around you. Or the roses, whichever. But do slow down.
Trust me. You'll thank me later!
You snooze the alarm till you can snooze no more...
You grudgingly get up and head to your porcelain throne.
You grab the hair pins bag along the way.
With your eyes closed you start putting your hair up in every which way.
Why you may ask?
Well because you are running late and don't have the time to wash it. Not to mention you snoozed one too many times...
Alright, all done.
Take a selfie of the hair.
Looks terrible.
Take it all out....repeat.
Another picture....more pins....take out repeat...
This goes on for 12 minutes longer than it should have.
Wait, wasn't i running late?
Yeah.
Every time we try to rush ourselves. Every time we try to make our bodies move faster than it wants to (at any particular time), everything begins to happen in slow motion. I'm no expert but i think that's our body and mind telling us to slow the heck down.
There will always be time for work. Time to do chores. Time to take care of everything you need to. But you were given only one body and one mind...don't lose it over any stupid ol' __________ (you fill in the blanks).
Slow down and smell the rotten smell all around you. Or the roses, whichever. But do slow down.
Trust me. You'll thank me later!
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Holding on to you...
Though you want to leave I hold on to you.
I say it's for you.
Until you are able.
Till you're stable.
But it's for me. I know.
To be able to pretend.
Pretend that the constant hurt isn't there.
It isn't real.
Make believe a relationship that's long gone.
Tell myself we'll sit in the same room, watch a movie and laugh together.
Just how we used to.
But alas, holding on to you is the same as holding on to sand with your bare hands. Like grabbing the wind with your fingers. Just as reaching out to grab on...and finding you not there.
As desperately as i hold on...the farther the distance.
Tears of sorrow...
Pain of regret...
Loss of love...
I say it's for you.
Until you are able.
Till you're stable.
But it's for me. I know.
To be able to pretend.
Pretend that the constant hurt isn't there.
It isn't real.
Make believe a relationship that's long gone.
Tell myself we'll sit in the same room, watch a movie and laugh together.
Just how we used to.
But alas, holding on to you is the same as holding on to sand with your bare hands. Like grabbing the wind with your fingers. Just as reaching out to grab on...and finding you not there.
As desperately as i hold on...the farther the distance.
Tears of sorrow...
Pain of regret...
Loss of love...
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Away with you demon...
Do you know when you're being taken advantage of?
Or when someone else is?
Do you see it as clear as day, while the person being manipulated doesn't?
Hmm...
How do you get someone to understand? Understand that it isn't right. That it's inappropriate. It's wrong. It's hurtful...
They say you are mistaken. That you are blind. Your memory is lacking. How harsh you are being.
You're trying to help. To understand. To help them understand. Why can't they see that.
But would you? Understand that is...if the situation was reversed.
Yes, of course I would. I would see it a mile away.... so you say.
It's hard to judge a situation from afar. It's easy to find solutions to problems you aren't immersed in.
Right?
Then why do we become so narrow minded? So consumed. It becomes everything that it is not. You begin telling yourself stories. Get angrier and angrier.
Not to say there is nothing to worry about. Because there certainly is something... That uncomfortable nagging feeling. The feeling that makes you feel sick. The one you can't rid of. And it's persistent. Building and ongoing...never ending. Feeling of dismay. Of fear...of complete discombobulation. Why is this happening. Why doesn't the person see what this is doing to you. Why are they allowing this to happen. Is this payback? Is this intentional? Haven't you done everything for them? Why don't they see. Why is this happening.
How easily the demon sits and watches...as everything you have built breaks apart. The sneer on the face as they watch you. That knowing look...look of accomplishment...accomplishment of their objective. How it was able to pull you two apart. Why did we allow this to take place? Why did he allow the demon in our home? Does he not recognize? How could he not see. He certainly saw when you attempted to bring a demon into your lives... why is he blind now?
The demon being accomplished, knows exactly what it is doing. It smiles at our failure...failure to communicate. Failure to understand. Failure to acknowledge. Failure to listen...failure to love fully and completely. It feels it has won.
NO. Not yet demon. There is still fight left is me. To not let go. To hold on to hope. Hope of what we were once and hope of what we can be again.... Stay with me, keep holding on...don't lose the grip my love.
I trust you...still.
Or when someone else is?
Do you see it as clear as day, while the person being manipulated doesn't?
Hmm...
How do you get someone to understand? Understand that it isn't right. That it's inappropriate. It's wrong. It's hurtful...
They say you are mistaken. That you are blind. Your memory is lacking. How harsh you are being.
You're trying to help. To understand. To help them understand. Why can't they see that.
But would you? Understand that is...if the situation was reversed.
Yes, of course I would. I would see it a mile away.... so you say.
It's hard to judge a situation from afar. It's easy to find solutions to problems you aren't immersed in.
Right?
Then why do we become so narrow minded? So consumed. It becomes everything that it is not. You begin telling yourself stories. Get angrier and angrier.
Not to say there is nothing to worry about. Because there certainly is something... That uncomfortable nagging feeling. The feeling that makes you feel sick. The one you can't rid of. And it's persistent. Building and ongoing...never ending. Feeling of dismay. Of fear...of complete discombobulation. Why is this happening. Why doesn't the person see what this is doing to you. Why are they allowing this to happen. Is this payback? Is this intentional? Haven't you done everything for them? Why don't they see. Why is this happening.
How easily the demon sits and watches...as everything you have built breaks apart. The sneer on the face as they watch you. That knowing look...look of accomplishment...accomplishment of their objective. How it was able to pull you two apart. Why did we allow this to take place? Why did he allow the demon in our home? Does he not recognize? How could he not see. He certainly saw when you attempted to bring a demon into your lives... why is he blind now?
The demon being accomplished, knows exactly what it is doing. It smiles at our failure...failure to communicate. Failure to understand. Failure to acknowledge. Failure to listen...failure to love fully and completely. It feels it has won.
NO. Not yet demon. There is still fight left is me. To not let go. To hold on to hope. Hope of what we were once and hope of what we can be again.... Stay with me, keep holding on...don't lose the grip my love.
I trust you...still.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Can you hear it?
What does it sound like to you?
Do you hear it in the wind?
Or perhaps the rain...
Do you listen for it in the waves?
Or do you listen for it in the trees...
Can you describe it?
Can you see it?
I love its embrace...so comforting.
It envelops me...and doesn't let go.
For when i miss you...it is there for me.
When i long for your touch, it caresses me.
It stays with me day and night...
For it too needs a companion.
A faithful friend...
Someone to be there with.
Who doesn't judge.
Doesn't get angry...
One who doesn't need saving.
Can you hear it?
It's my friend...
The stillness, and
The quiet.
Do you hear it in the wind?
Or perhaps the rain...
Do you listen for it in the waves?
Or do you listen for it in the trees...
Can you describe it?
Can you see it?
I love its embrace...so comforting.
It envelops me...and doesn't let go.
For when i miss you...it is there for me.
When i long for your touch, it caresses me.
It stays with me day and night...
For it too needs a companion.
A faithful friend...
Someone to be there with.
Who doesn't judge.
Doesn't get angry...
One who doesn't need saving.
Can you hear it?
It's my friend...
The stillness, and
The quiet.
Come back to me...
Thank you for taking the first step last night.
You understood, even if it was just a little.
Understood how she was damaging a relationship, that wasn't doing so well already.
Thank you for the toast last night.
I said i wouldn't toast to it, until/unless you made the same claim/promise.
You said you will.
Thank you for spending time with me last night.
It's been too long since we talked...
Since we shared...
Since we sat next to each other.
Thank you for talking to me last night.
Your persistence has always been your best trait.
You didn't let go initially when i pushed you away...and you didn't back away last night.
Thank you for being in my life.
Thank you showing me you still care.
Thank you for letting me say what i needed to.
Thank you for listening...always.
Thank you for having faith in me.
Thank you for believing I'm still worth it.
Thank you for bringing me to my God!
Thank you for giving me the love i never had before.
Thank you for being patient with me.
Thank you for every little thing you do, that i take for granted.
Thank you for being my friend...
Thank you for being my support...
Thank you for not giving up...
I'm as sorry as i can ever be...here and now. For causing you hurt. Pain that you didn't deserve. Please know i will never let it happen again...forgive me.
Won't you come back to me now? To let me reciprocate the love and care. To allow me to show you my gratitude. To show you how much you mean to me. To let me hold you so close, that nothing will come between us again...not my anger nor our misunderstandings. To let me love you as you deserve.
Come back to me my love.
So that we can open our ears/mind/heart/soul to each other....
May God guide us both to each other.
Amen.
You understood, even if it was just a little.
Understood how she was damaging a relationship, that wasn't doing so well already.
Thank you for the toast last night.
I said i wouldn't toast to it, until/unless you made the same claim/promise.
You said you will.
Thank you for spending time with me last night.
It's been too long since we talked...
Since we shared...
Since we sat next to each other.
Thank you for talking to me last night.
Your persistence has always been your best trait.
You didn't let go initially when i pushed you away...and you didn't back away last night.
Thank you for being in my life.
Thank you showing me you still care.
Thank you for letting me say what i needed to.
Thank you for listening...always.
Thank you for having faith in me.
Thank you for believing I'm still worth it.
Thank you for bringing me to my God!
Thank you for giving me the love i never had before.
Thank you for being patient with me.
Thank you for every little thing you do, that i take for granted.
Thank you for being my friend...
Thank you for being my support...
Thank you for not giving up...
I'm as sorry as i can ever be...here and now. For causing you hurt. Pain that you didn't deserve. Please know i will never let it happen again...forgive me.
Won't you come back to me now? To let me reciprocate the love and care. To allow me to show you my gratitude. To show you how much you mean to me. To let me hold you so close, that nothing will come between us again...not my anger nor our misunderstandings. To let me love you as you deserve.
Come back to me my love.
So that we can open our ears/mind/heart/soul to each other....
May God guide us both to each other.
Amen.
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Lost
Wait where am I?
I recognize this place but I still don't know where I am.
Is this de ja vu?
No no....
This place is real.
Don't you see there are people in there.
One happy....
One sad...
Both lonely!
Do I know them?
From where...who are they? ...and why aren't they inviting me in?
Wait, do I even want to go in?
Look there is the moon.
I remember a moon like that.
That isn't a pleasant memory....let's move past that.
Where am I?
I wish someone would just grab my hand and lead me out of this place.
I'm suffocating here...can't watch these people anymore.
I see the love in their eyes...but they can't seem to see it in each other. Perhaps the distance between them has grown too wide.
Then there is the moon...how ever terrible the memory, I could follow it to find my way home.
Home....is anyone even there waiting for me anymore? Has he forgotten about me? Maybe he has moved on....
Quick, pinch me. Am I dreaming.
No....still here.
Looking through the window.
At these two lost souls...
Maybe they'll let me join them.
Maybe they can lead me home.
Oh how I long to be home.
In the arms of my beloved.
To have him hold me close....to look deep within his eyes....and lose myself.
Is that how I got here?
How did I lose myself? Why did he let go. I thought he would never let go. What went wrong?
Oh my dear moon....you venomous demon you...will you be my only companion now?
Where have the arms of my love gone? Where are his eyes?
Where are his lips?
Shall I remain here with you then you poisonous devil....
Where hast thou taken my happiness...
Where hast thou taken my love...
I shall never love again....
Let your vastness consume me then.
Forever and more....
I recognize this place but I still don't know where I am.
Is this de ja vu?
No no....
This place is real.
Don't you see there are people in there.
One happy....
One sad...
Both lonely!
Do I know them?
From where...who are they? ...and why aren't they inviting me in?
Wait, do I even want to go in?
Look there is the moon.
I remember a moon like that.
That isn't a pleasant memory....let's move past that.
Where am I?
I wish someone would just grab my hand and lead me out of this place.
I'm suffocating here...can't watch these people anymore.
I see the love in their eyes...but they can't seem to see it in each other. Perhaps the distance between them has grown too wide.
Then there is the moon...how ever terrible the memory, I could follow it to find my way home.
Home....is anyone even there waiting for me anymore? Has he forgotten about me? Maybe he has moved on....
Quick, pinch me. Am I dreaming.
No....still here.
Looking through the window.
At these two lost souls...
Maybe they'll let me join them.
Maybe they can lead me home.
Oh how I long to be home.
In the arms of my beloved.
To have him hold me close....to look deep within his eyes....and lose myself.
Is that how I got here?
How did I lose myself? Why did he let go. I thought he would never let go. What went wrong?
Oh my dear moon....you venomous demon you...will you be my only companion now?
Where have the arms of my love gone? Where are his eyes?
Where are his lips?
Shall I remain here with you then you poisonous devil....
Where hast thou taken my happiness...
Where hast thou taken my love...
I shall never love again....
Let your vastness consume me then.
Forever and more....
Friday, July 31, 2015
Hey wait for me...
Aye jaate hue lamho zara tehro zara tehro
Main bhi tu chalta hun....
Oh passing moments, wait a while...wait a while
I shall join you too...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You never knew i knew other languages did you? I know several actually. This one is called Hindi.
Sometimes you can wrack your brain for the right words, the right thing to say at the right time, but you're left standing alone, having said nothing at all. Moments pass, days, then weeks and months... I wrote a piece about time recently, but this one is about hope...hope that the missed moments would wait for you to catch up with them. Wouldn't that be something!
So many missed opportunities for hugs, laughter, cuddling, enjoying each others company....moments of love that are now gone. Wish time would stop. Stand still...even for brief periods. You could do much with stolen time...a bunch of do overs. Say I love you more. Tell someone you care. Stop them from leaving. Not leave yourself. Stay in the embrace. In the arms of your loved one... a loved one you may never see again.
Oh time...why are you in a hurry? Why don't you stay awhile...wait for me...
Main bhi tu chalta hun....
Oh passing moments, wait a while...wait a while
I shall join you too...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You never knew i knew other languages did you? I know several actually. This one is called Hindi.
Sometimes you can wrack your brain for the right words, the right thing to say at the right time, but you're left standing alone, having said nothing at all. Moments pass, days, then weeks and months... I wrote a piece about time recently, but this one is about hope...hope that the missed moments would wait for you to catch up with them. Wouldn't that be something!
So many missed opportunities for hugs, laughter, cuddling, enjoying each others company....moments of love that are now gone. Wish time would stop. Stand still...even for brief periods. You could do much with stolen time...a bunch of do overs. Say I love you more. Tell someone you care. Stop them from leaving. Not leave yourself. Stay in the embrace. In the arms of your loved one... a loved one you may never see again.
Oh time...why are you in a hurry? Why don't you stay awhile...wait for me...
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Mom, where is my shoe...?
Ever wonder how everything seems to get done without you lifting a finger? How somehow the clothes are always clean and nicely pressed, how the socks always have a twin, how the bed is always made, how the food is ready when needed, how there is never a lack of groceries, how the kids get to and from school, how their homework gets done, how their teeth are clean, how their hair is brushed, etc. etc... Must be the infamous house fairy that waves her magic wand when you aren't paying attention, right? Ha...only if!
Fact is, I know and realize something now that I was blind to for a very long time. As are you....yes you my dear readers. What in the world is this woman going on about, you may be asking. Just hold your horses...i have a point here. Gosh...impatient aren't we. Alright, where was I? Oh right, something we're all blind to...
How does everything get done? Wait for it....wait for it....drum roll please.......by the lady of the house of course! Duh!!
It's kinda sad how we take our wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters for granted. It's an expectation that they take care of it all. I mean what else are they doing anyway right. It's not like they work or anything. Umm..check again will ya? Who is the person who is up before the rooster crows and is ensuring breakfast is made, lunches are prepared, clothes are set out, bathroom has all the needed supplies, shoes are where they need to be.... yes you got it. It's the lady of the house! Then once she sees everyone off for the day, whether it be for school, or work, she begins the rest of her day. Including finally feeding herself. On any typical day, a wife/mother has to clean, organize, grocery shop, attend school meetings, buy house/school supplies, cook, do laundry, fold laundry, cook some more, go pick up a kid because they are sick, make inquisitorial calls for multiple purposes, ensure everything is how it's supposed to be for when the husband and kids return, and more. Then after dinner, most of the above takes place again and she is usually the last to go to bed. So much can be detailed of their contributions, but no one will have the patience to read it all... What we fail to understand is how much skill it takes to keep all the balls juggling. Let me explain.
First off, a woman does all this for her house because she looks at it as a blessing. This we must try and understand. Yes, you may be shaking your head, because you have heard her complain once or twice about everything she has to do, but seriously. Every girl dreams of having a perfect wedding, and a perfect house full of love. That marriage and house has its share of responsibilities, and a woman takes pride in accomplishing said responsibilities. She is happy when her family is happy and satisfied. This is a fact!
Second, do you have any idea what sort of knowledge, understanding, patience, skills, and mastery is required in a person to do everything listed above and more that isn't mentioned? To be able to juggle everything with perfection, a woman must be born with circus skills, eh? No. There are many degree programs in universities that one can earn to learn just half of what the lady of the house does. Programs like, 'Program Management', 'Nursing', 'Psychology', 'Organizational Development', 'Communications', 'Hospitality', 'Financial Planning', 'Supply Chain Management', 'Family and Child Services', and so many others. Seeing this artist at work every day, utilizing several different aspects of these university programs, must give you pause. To think, that some of them not having formal education can still manage what they do is nothing less than amazing!
Alright, I know it's not mother's day, and I am not on a high horse to publicly defend all women. There are those (like me) who don't do what a woman with a full house of husband and children does. But the purpose behind this piece of writing is to stand humbly in front of the women in our lives and thank them for their relentless services for us. By the grace of the Almighty we have been blessed with such unique and wonderful women who do so much for us and ask for so little in return. There shouldn't be just one day dedicated to these cherished ladies...we should thank them often. Every day actually! Treat them with the respect and honor they deserve. Because I assure you, you would certainly notice their absence if they were to not be there for even one day. As you would not be able to answer the question of the ages...."Mom, where is my shoe?"
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I would like to dedicate this particular blog to a few women in my life that have made a definite impact. I begin with my magnificent mother. You have been there for me no matter what and I am ever so grateful for you mom. My amazing sisters. You two are inspirational to me. You have despite all obstacles, raised such beautiful and intelligent children. And no, I did not forget my lovely sister-in-law. She has been there to support my brother through all his medical trials he has had to face, while taking care of everything that needed taking care of.
Who are the women in your life that you can say thank you to?
Fact is, I know and realize something now that I was blind to for a very long time. As are you....yes you my dear readers. What in the world is this woman going on about, you may be asking. Just hold your horses...i have a point here. Gosh...impatient aren't we. Alright, where was I? Oh right, something we're all blind to...
How does everything get done? Wait for it....wait for it....drum roll please.......by the lady of the house of course! Duh!!
It's kinda sad how we take our wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters for granted. It's an expectation that they take care of it all. I mean what else are they doing anyway right. It's not like they work or anything. Umm..check again will ya? Who is the person who is up before the rooster crows and is ensuring breakfast is made, lunches are prepared, clothes are set out, bathroom has all the needed supplies, shoes are where they need to be.... yes you got it. It's the lady of the house! Then once she sees everyone off for the day, whether it be for school, or work, she begins the rest of her day. Including finally feeding herself. On any typical day, a wife/mother has to clean, organize, grocery shop, attend school meetings, buy house/school supplies, cook, do laundry, fold laundry, cook some more, go pick up a kid because they are sick, make inquisitorial calls for multiple purposes, ensure everything is how it's supposed to be for when the husband and kids return, and more. Then after dinner, most of the above takes place again and she is usually the last to go to bed. So much can be detailed of their contributions, but no one will have the patience to read it all... What we fail to understand is how much skill it takes to keep all the balls juggling. Let me explain.
First off, a woman does all this for her house because she looks at it as a blessing. This we must try and understand. Yes, you may be shaking your head, because you have heard her complain once or twice about everything she has to do, but seriously. Every girl dreams of having a perfect wedding, and a perfect house full of love. That marriage and house has its share of responsibilities, and a woman takes pride in accomplishing said responsibilities. She is happy when her family is happy and satisfied. This is a fact!
Second, do you have any idea what sort of knowledge, understanding, patience, skills, and mastery is required in a person to do everything listed above and more that isn't mentioned? To be able to juggle everything with perfection, a woman must be born with circus skills, eh? No. There are many degree programs in universities that one can earn to learn just half of what the lady of the house does. Programs like, 'Program Management', 'Nursing', 'Psychology', 'Organizational Development', 'Communications', 'Hospitality', 'Financial Planning', 'Supply Chain Management', 'Family and Child Services', and so many others. Seeing this artist at work every day, utilizing several different aspects of these university programs, must give you pause. To think, that some of them not having formal education can still manage what they do is nothing less than amazing!
Alright, I know it's not mother's day, and I am not on a high horse to publicly defend all women. There are those (like me) who don't do what a woman with a full house of husband and children does. But the purpose behind this piece of writing is to stand humbly in front of the women in our lives and thank them for their relentless services for us. By the grace of the Almighty we have been blessed with such unique and wonderful women who do so much for us and ask for so little in return. There shouldn't be just one day dedicated to these cherished ladies...we should thank them often. Every day actually! Treat them with the respect and honor they deserve. Because I assure you, you would certainly notice their absence if they were to not be there for even one day. As you would not be able to answer the question of the ages...."Mom, where is my shoe?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would like to dedicate this particular blog to a few women in my life that have made a definite impact. I begin with my magnificent mother. You have been there for me no matter what and I am ever so grateful for you mom. My amazing sisters. You two are inspirational to me. You have despite all obstacles, raised such beautiful and intelligent children. And no, I did not forget my lovely sister-in-law. She has been there to support my brother through all his medical trials he has had to face, while taking care of everything that needed taking care of.
Who are the women in your life that you can say thank you to?
Friday, July 24, 2015
Please stand up!
Will the person who cares please stand up.
Will the person that once loved please stand up.
Will the person who made promises please stand up.
Will the person who's hurting please stand up.
Will the person who's causing pain please stand up.
Will the person who once understood please stand up.
Will the person who is explaining please stand up.
Will the person who has lost sight of reality please stand up.
Will the person who simply doesn't care anymore please stand up.
Wait....is the same person standing up for every statement?
No no...don't you see that poor individual in the back hiding behind that pillar?
She must be the saddest person I've ever laid eyes on....
Will the person that once loved please stand up.
Will the person who made promises please stand up.
Will the person who's hurting please stand up.
Will the person who's causing pain please stand up.
Will the person who once understood please stand up.
Will the person who is explaining please stand up.
Will the person who has lost sight of reality please stand up.
Will the person who simply doesn't care anymore please stand up.
Wait....is the same person standing up for every statement?
No no...don't you see that poor individual in the back hiding behind that pillar?
She must be the saddest person I've ever laid eyes on....
Comfort
Where can comfort be found?
Can it only be found in the arms of a loved on?
No!
Comfort can be captured by drowning your sorrows in alcohol...
Comfort can be attained by leaning on a hand rail at a church parking lot...
Comfort can be gathered by walking by yourself, clearing your thoughts...
Comfort can be found by burrying your head in a pillow and crying...
Comfort can be collected by sitting in the car by yourself...
Comfort can come from any which way...
Just be open to receiving it.
However, if you're finding comfort in someone....a someone who belongs to another... That's the same as robing Peter to pay Paul. It's theft. It's betrayal. It's deceit.
You cannot take comfort in someone by causing another pain.
If you do...you're the worst kind of person.
Instead, take comfort in God my soul. For He alone can fill my heart with joy.
Where can comfort be found?
Can it only be found in the arms of a loved on?
No!
Comfort can be captured by drowning your sorrows in alcohol...
Comfort can be attained by leaning on a hand rail at a church parking lot...
Comfort can be gathered by walking by yourself, clearing your thoughts...
Comfort can be found by burrying your head in a pillow and crying...
Comfort can be collected by sitting in the car by yourself...
Comfort can come from any which way...
Just be open to receiving it.
However, if you're finding comfort in someone....a someone who belongs to another... That's the same as robing Peter to pay Paul. It's theft. It's betrayal. It's deceit.
You cannot take comfort in someone by causing another pain.
If you do...you're the worst kind of person.
Instead, take comfort in God my soul. For He alone can fill my heart with joy.
Where can comfort be found?
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Time
Ever wonder what you could accomplish if you had the ability to manipulate time?
To go back...
To move past...
People don't change they say....
I say, time changes us all.
What we were, we will never be again..
What we want to be, is too far away..
And here we are...in the moment...now
To say hurtful things...to be mean to each other...
Wondering whatever happened to the love we shared...
To to happy times...
Anticipating whether they will return...
Or are they forever gone?
Time changes us all...
Don't make an enemy of time.
It doesn't take your offenses lightly...
Time is no friend to any...
One day it will end you.
To go back...
To move past...
People don't change they say....
I say, time changes us all.
What we were, we will never be again..
What we want to be, is too far away..
And here we are...in the moment...now
To say hurtful things...to be mean to each other...
Wondering whatever happened to the love we shared...
To to happy times...
Anticipating whether they will return...
Or are they forever gone?
Time changes us all...
Don't make an enemy of time.
It doesn't take your offenses lightly...
Time is no friend to any...
One day it will end you.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Do you know what pain is?
Pain is not feeling anything anymore
not feeling hurts more than a gun shot or even child birth
given I haven't gone through either of those...
but I am fairly confident that I am right (you're right, i am full of crap)
Pain is seeing someone you love and not being able to recognize them
Pain is watching the one you love walk around as if you didn't exist
as if you were part of the furniture...
Pain is not being able to express yourself except in mean, snide, and cruel remarks
Pain is not being able to say I miss you and I need a hug...
Pain is not being able to forget
Pain is flipping and flopping all night to be woken up to a dream where your father is casting demons out of you...
Pain is not being able to say I need to be held
no words of comfort...no small talk...
Pain is putting one foot in front of the other and to keep moving forward
without a goal or purpose...
without a dream or care...
without an acknowledgement from anyone...
that you exist!
Do you know what pain is?
not feeling hurts more than a gun shot or even child birth
given I haven't gone through either of those...
but I am fairly confident that I am right (you're right, i am full of crap)
Pain is seeing someone you love and not being able to recognize them
Pain is watching the one you love walk around as if you didn't exist
as if you were part of the furniture...
Pain is not being able to express yourself except in mean, snide, and cruel remarks
Pain is not being able to say I miss you and I need a hug...
Pain is not being able to forget
Pain is flipping and flopping all night to be woken up to a dream where your father is casting demons out of you...
Pain is not being able to say I need to be held
no words of comfort...no small talk...
Pain is putting one foot in front of the other and to keep moving forward
without a goal or purpose...
without a dream or care...
without an acknowledgement from anyone...
that you exist!
Do you know what pain is?
Pay Attention
I wish people would pay attention. See what's actually happening around them. Not follow the masses.
People like me are considered backward. Not open minded. Anti this, that or the other.
Ever think that people like me are the ones who are targeted because we aren't following the masses? We take the path least walked on. We aren't blind to this world and where it is headed. We see it all, and we chose not to join in. We make a stand against it. It takes more guts to do what we do, then what everyone else is doing.
Everyone else is taking the easy route. The route that allows them not to think. Not to make a decision for themselves. Oh everyone else is going this way, let us too walk in the same direction.
But behold, there is only one end to that path my friends.
The path of the righteous has never been easy. I do not consider myself above anyone else. I simply hold my beliefs close to my heart and not allow the pressures of this world to take them away from me. I see what is right in front of me, and also what is not spelled out plainly.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers. To many out there, I may come across as not caring. The truth is far from that. My words may not reflect that, as I try never to come across as vulnerable. Honestly, I care too much. My heart pains from the cares. I care so deeply and so fully that I physically ache.
Though you may not believe...I have raised you all up to my Lord. May He guide us always!
People like me are considered backward. Not open minded. Anti this, that or the other.
Ever think that people like me are the ones who are targeted because we aren't following the masses? We take the path least walked on. We aren't blind to this world and where it is headed. We see it all, and we chose not to join in. We make a stand against it. It takes more guts to do what we do, then what everyone else is doing.
Everyone else is taking the easy route. The route that allows them not to think. Not to make a decision for themselves. Oh everyone else is going this way, let us too walk in the same direction.
But behold, there is only one end to that path my friends.
The path of the righteous has never been easy. I do not consider myself above anyone else. I simply hold my beliefs close to my heart and not allow the pressures of this world to take them away from me. I see what is right in front of me, and also what is not spelled out plainly.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers. To many out there, I may come across as not caring. The truth is far from that. My words may not reflect that, as I try never to come across as vulnerable. Honestly, I care too much. My heart pains from the cares. I care so deeply and so fully that I physically ache.
Though you may not believe...I have raised you all up to my Lord. May He guide us always!
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Chains for Shackles -
I accept my forgiveness from God.
I acknowledge Him Lord and Savior.
I have a sense of freedom I have not felt before.
I feel set free of my chains of condemnation, guilt, and remorse.
Yet here I am shackled...with addiction.
Addiction to alcohol.
Addiction to bitterness.
Addiction to anger.
So am I really free of the chains? Or have I traded the chains for shackles?
I want to give it all up. Everything. All of it.
Just need a purpose.
Just need a reason.
Just need a path...
God Help Me!
I acknowledge Him Lord and Savior.
I have a sense of freedom I have not felt before.
I feel set free of my chains of condemnation, guilt, and remorse.
Yet here I am shackled...with addiction.
Addiction to alcohol.
Addiction to bitterness.
Addiction to anger.
So am I really free of the chains? Or have I traded the chains for shackles?
I want to give it all up. Everything. All of it.
Just need a purpose.
Just need a reason.
Just need a path...
God Help Me!
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Loneliness to me is like...
a fish out of water
a tear without a cheek
the waves without the shore
the sun without the moon
having thirst without water
having sight without a vision
a mirror without a reflection
a heart without a beat
an alcoholic without a drink
a soul without a body
a prayer unanswered
a believer without his God
a tear without a cheek
the waves without the shore
the sun without the moon
having thirst without water
having sight without a vision
a mirror without a reflection
a heart without a beat
an alcoholic without a drink
a soul without a body
a prayer unanswered
a believer without his God
being sad to your bones...
Loneliness to me is like us being in the same home but universes away!
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Escape -
Life should come with an escape button. I know I am not the first, nor will I be the last to make such a comment. The idea has been explored plenty I am sure.
But think about it. We should have a keyboard for life with only the buttons we need instead of what a computer needs. The movie "Click" had a similar concept where Adam Sandler had a remote control for life and regretted using it as it mirrored his selections on its own. Ah..what? Basically he made certain situations in his life go away by fast forwarding through them with his magic remote control, and then the remote control being a smart device, started fast forwarding similar situations on its own. Next thing you know, he's an old man and doesn't know how he got there.
Alright, well we would just need to have a much better and less smarter keyboard now won't we? I mean have certain needed features but never give it the capability of thinking on its own. I want to be the one who decides what situation to be in and which to leave. Here is my vision of an ideal life keyboard.
Tab: This button will move slow people along...just tab them forward
Capslock: This button can be used on your wallet and other things you want enlarged (hehehe...)
Backspace: Wait wait, let's do that over again feeling can be actually accomplished
Delete: This button will become very useful for just having things disappear that you wish to be rid of. Or people...you decide
Arrows: The up and down, side to side arrows will be a fantastic option to have when you can't seem to move on your own. You will simply push the button and magically you get up, sit down, and move about in any direction needed
Shift: Optional key to add and can be personalized for each person, as shift is used when we need another key to work properly. Ex. Shift 4 would bring about money out of nowhere. Or, Shift " would bring quotation marks to life for when we want to be super sarcastic. (Alright the last example was dumb)
Ctrl-Alt-Delete: The combination of these buttons is a must, as there are times we just can't get delete to work on its own. We just need to have an option to get to the task bar to cancel whatever we wish to
Escape: After Delete this would be the most useful button any of us could ever ask for. This button when pressed will remove you from whatever situation you are in and take you to a different place. Any place of your choosing, as that can be customized as well. Use as often as you desire
Now who is onboard with me on this device? Comon, I need funding to make this happen people. Imagine the possibilities will ya?
Awaiting donations....
But think about it. We should have a keyboard for life with only the buttons we need instead of what a computer needs. The movie "Click" had a similar concept where Adam Sandler had a remote control for life and regretted using it as it mirrored his selections on its own. Ah..what? Basically he made certain situations in his life go away by fast forwarding through them with his magic remote control, and then the remote control being a smart device, started fast forwarding similar situations on its own. Next thing you know, he's an old man and doesn't know how he got there.
Alright, well we would just need to have a much better and less smarter keyboard now won't we? I mean have certain needed features but never give it the capability of thinking on its own. I want to be the one who decides what situation to be in and which to leave. Here is my vision of an ideal life keyboard.
Tab: This button will move slow people along...just tab them forward
Capslock: This button can be used on your wallet and other things you want enlarged (hehehe...)
Backspace: Wait wait, let's do that over again feeling can be actually accomplished
Delete: This button will become very useful for just having things disappear that you wish to be rid of. Or people...you decide
Arrows: The up and down, side to side arrows will be a fantastic option to have when you can't seem to move on your own. You will simply push the button and magically you get up, sit down, and move about in any direction needed
Shift: Optional key to add and can be personalized for each person, as shift is used when we need another key to work properly. Ex. Shift 4 would bring about money out of nowhere. Or, Shift " would bring quotation marks to life for when we want to be super sarcastic. (Alright the last example was dumb)
Ctrl-Alt-Delete: The combination of these buttons is a must, as there are times we just can't get delete to work on its own. We just need to have an option to get to the task bar to cancel whatever we wish to
Escape: After Delete this would be the most useful button any of us could ever ask for. This button when pressed will remove you from whatever situation you are in and take you to a different place. Any place of your choosing, as that can be customized as well. Use as often as you desire
Now who is onboard with me on this device? Comon, I need funding to make this happen people. Imagine the possibilities will ya?
Awaiting donations....
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
True Love -
Yesterday I lay on the beach listening.
Listening to the constant crashing of the waves against the shore.
And it hit me...
This is true LOVE!
The LOVE between the body of water and the shoreline.
They are forever one.
No matter how vast or how deep the water is, it always comes rushing back to see her lover.
The lover sends her back out every time, as if he were angry.
Angry that she had been away; exploring, experiencing, living, while he sat there waiting.
But no matter how many times he sends her away, she returns to kiss him again...and again.
Asking for his forgiveness and acceptance.
She pleads with him to understand.
Understand that it is not in her control.
It's simply what she was made to do.
He relents and allows her further into his heart.
When the two touch, they declare to the world.
With the sounds of the waves...they proclaim their undying LOVE for each other.
We are in LOVE and no man can keep us apart, they say.
As this LOVE was created by the Maker of the heavens and the earth.
Together we shall remain always.
Till the end of time...
Listening to the constant crashing of the waves against the shore.
And it hit me...
This is true LOVE!
The LOVE between the body of water and the shoreline.
They are forever one.
No matter how vast or how deep the water is, it always comes rushing back to see her lover.
The lover sends her back out every time, as if he were angry.
Angry that she had been away; exploring, experiencing, living, while he sat there waiting.
But no matter how many times he sends her away, she returns to kiss him again...and again.
Asking for his forgiveness and acceptance.
She pleads with him to understand.
Understand that it is not in her control.
It's simply what she was made to do.
He relents and allows her further into his heart.
When the two touch, they declare to the world.
With the sounds of the waves...they proclaim their undying LOVE for each other.
We are in LOVE and no man can keep us apart, they say.
As this LOVE was created by the Maker of the heavens and the earth.
Together we shall remain always.
Till the end of time...
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Everyone has time - It's a matter of PRIORITIES!
Yes I am saying it. Everyone has time. I am tired of hearing the excuse, "...just didn't get the time with everything else going on..." Truth is, everyone has time. They have time to wash their face, time to put make-up on, time to dress themselves, time to have breakfast, time to work out, time to call people, time to respond, time to make connections, time time time.... The only REAL explanation is, they CHOSE not to do any of these things. Because to that particular person, something else is more pressing. Something else takes priority.
So why can't people just be honest and say, "I didn't respond to your message because I thought whatever it is I was doing at that time, the next hour, that night, the next morning, the next week, the next month, that year....was more important." When someone wants to do something, they make time for it. I would much rather people say, yeah I didn't respond because I was doing something else that mattered more. Rather than to say, 'oh I don't respond to anyone,' or 'I just forgot.' As much as people are attached to their phones for one reason or another, it's hard to imagine they wouldn't come across said message at some point again, whether it be a few minutes after it was received or a month after.
Yeah I know, I'm saying it. Go ahead and be mad. Truth hurts.
Doesn't mean I don't love each and everyone of you!
Hugs...
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Are you serious?
Real life scenarios...I kid you not!
Scenario One:
Person at tax office - "I need your full name."
Me - It's _______________ (spell it out as she can't spell it)
Person at tax office - "I need your date of birth"
Me - It's ______________
Person at tax office - "I need the last 4 digits of your social security number"
Me - This isn't very secure. I have already given you my full name, spelled out, my date of birth and now you're asking for my social security number? While there are 5 people sitting here in the lobby, well within earshot.
Person at tax office - "No one can do anything with the last 4 digits of your social security number."
Me - Standing there with my mouth wide open, fallen to the ground in surprise
Scenario Two:
Person at property rental office - "We need your driver's license scanned and emailed to us in order for us to schedule a showing for you."
Me - Why do you need my driver's license?
Person at property rental office - "That's our process. We need it to verify your identity."
Me - Is this a secret secure place or something? I just want to take a look at the property to even see if we're interested or not.
Person at property rental office - "You cannot be scheduled to see the property without us receiving your ID."
Me - This doesn't make any sense. How secure do you think this is. I don't you know and you want me to send over my driver's license to you? How much sense does this make?
Person at property rental office - "Every rental property place requires this. This is the process everywhere."
Me - That actually isn't true and this wouldn't be my first rental. Can I please speak with your supervisor?
Person at property rental office - "We can only speak with email."
Me - Um...so how are we talking now over the phone then?
Person at property rental office - "We can only speak with our supervisor over email and can't give that out.
Me - Is this for real? All I want is to see the place. Goodness gracious!
Scenario Three:
Customer service person at any customer service center (yes, I mean any...) - "Can I please get your full name please"
Me - It's _________________ (spell it out because they can't understand otherwise)
Customer service person - "Can I get your full address please"
Me - It's ______________________
Customer service person - "Can I get your date of birth please"
Me - It's ______________________
Customer service person - "Can I have your mother's maiden name please"
Me - It's _____________________
Customer service person - "Can I have the secret password on your account please"
Me - It's __________________
Customer service person - "Can I please have the last 4 digits of your social security number"
Me - Alright, you do realize this isn't a secure call right? I mean I have given you all this info after I gave it to the automated system already.
Customer service person - "The call is secure on our end."
Me - Are you kidding me? I am on a cell phone. Anyone can catch this call. It is not secure. Is the info I have already given not enough.
Customer service person - "Without the last 4 digits of your social security number, we won't be able to help you any further."
Me - Can I speak with your supervisor?
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So here is the million dollar question. Is it a requirement to not have a brain when you work for such companies? Or is it part of the job description that says, "Must not have common sense to work here". Am I the only one that finds this frustrating? Might as well ask me for naked pictures next and tell me they cannot proceed with doing my taxes, showing me a rental home or assist me with my phone, cable or insurance bill without the naked pictures. I can't possibly be the only one suffering through this crap.
Scenario One:
Person at tax office - "I need your full name."
Me - It's _______________ (spell it out as she can't spell it)
Person at tax office - "I need your date of birth"
Me - It's ______________
Person at tax office - "I need the last 4 digits of your social security number"
Me - This isn't very secure. I have already given you my full name, spelled out, my date of birth and now you're asking for my social security number? While there are 5 people sitting here in the lobby, well within earshot.
Person at tax office - "No one can do anything with the last 4 digits of your social security number."
Me - Standing there with my mouth wide open, fallen to the ground in surprise
Scenario Two:
Person at property rental office - "We need your driver's license scanned and emailed to us in order for us to schedule a showing for you."
Me - Why do you need my driver's license?
Person at property rental office - "That's our process. We need it to verify your identity."
Me - Is this a secret secure place or something? I just want to take a look at the property to even see if we're interested or not.
Person at property rental office - "You cannot be scheduled to see the property without us receiving your ID."
Me - This doesn't make any sense. How secure do you think this is. I don't you know and you want me to send over my driver's license to you? How much sense does this make?
Person at property rental office - "Every rental property place requires this. This is the process everywhere."
Me - That actually isn't true and this wouldn't be my first rental. Can I please speak with your supervisor?
Person at property rental office - "We can only speak with email."
Me - Um...so how are we talking now over the phone then?
Person at property rental office - "We can only speak with our supervisor over email and can't give that out.
Me - Is this for real? All I want is to see the place. Goodness gracious!
Scenario Three:
Customer service person at any customer service center (yes, I mean any...) - "Can I please get your full name please"
Me - It's _________________ (spell it out because they can't understand otherwise)
Customer service person - "Can I get your full address please"
Me - It's ______________________
Customer service person - "Can I get your date of birth please"
Me - It's ______________________
Customer service person - "Can I have your mother's maiden name please"
Me - It's _____________________
Customer service person - "Can I have the secret password on your account please"
Me - It's __________________
Customer service person - "Can I please have the last 4 digits of your social security number"
Me - Alright, you do realize this isn't a secure call right? I mean I have given you all this info after I gave it to the automated system already.
Customer service person - "The call is secure on our end."
Me - Are you kidding me? I am on a cell phone. Anyone can catch this call. It is not secure. Is the info I have already given not enough.
Customer service person - "Without the last 4 digits of your social security number, we won't be able to help you any further."
Me - Can I speak with your supervisor?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So here is the million dollar question. Is it a requirement to not have a brain when you work for such companies? Or is it part of the job description that says, "Must not have common sense to work here". Am I the only one that finds this frustrating? Might as well ask me for naked pictures next and tell me they cannot proceed with doing my taxes, showing me a rental home or assist me with my phone, cable or insurance bill without the naked pictures. I can't possibly be the only one suffering through this crap.
Are you serious???
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Tuesday-
| Know what I mean? Do you have a good explanation for Tuesday? This right here explains Tuesday the best for me....  Comment if you think of any please. I would love to hear your ideas about Tuesday.  | |
There is hope yet...
here's the thing...talk...i can talk and talk and talk
and I do
all the time
with whomever will engage in a decent conversation
but what then
talking doesn't do anything
i wish i had the means
the opportunity
to make an impact
to do something
i don't know
i am talking out my ass...don't mind me
the world is a cesspool
what's funny is...I am still grateful you know
I mean what I am stating here is such a first world country issue
do you think those that are abused, tortured, starved are thinking this
what they are thinking is where their next meal is going to come from
if they are going to get raped tonight or if they can sleep in peace
will they have a safe and secure place to shut their eyes
and here I am talking about how life is just bleh
seriously...i have perspective
i think which is one of the biggest reasons I feel so helpless
because I care so much
I feel
and I can do nothing about it
I can't because I don't have the means
this isn't what my life is supposed to be...i have so much to give and so much to do...but I can't
I am stuck beneath debt and complete lack of means
to get out and make a difference in the lives of those that cannot do it for themselves
like i said...i can certainly talk
i have lots of words
words come easily to me
but words are meaningless
without anything to follow them up with
know what I mean?
I am healthy, I have a beautiful home (which won't be ours for long as we have to move by end of May), I have a great car, I have two great jobs (many people don't even have one they like), I have tons and tons of experience and education, and I have two sets of families that love me, i have coworkers and bosses that appreciate me....I mean I have everything a normal person would want. Mostly I have a man who loves me. Regardless of everything either one of us has done in this relationship, he loves me and is with me through it all. God's good to me.
But at the same time...i know He as in God has a plan for me, and I think I am not fulfilling His plans.
I pray and I pray....
God willing one day He will reveal His purpose for me
but i do feel He's revealed to me that what I am doing now is not His purpose for me
that's the reason why I feel the way I do
and this isn't one of those lofty dreams of...'I am meant to do something bigger and better'
on the contrary
I think it's about humbling myself to a point of having nothing of my own....
am I making any sense?
i can speak all day long...and i feel that is what i need to do
speak...
but i feel i don't have an audience
not one person
not two
just anyone who will actually give an ear to my words
i am not sure i have the words to explain what I mean...which is contradicting my earlier statement of "words come easily to me."
Ha
I don't believe it is hopeless
not at all
I have hope....
I have hope for a better life
I have faith
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Self-Esteem
'...everyone is looking at me. I can't be the only one with bad skin. Why are they starring? I wish I could hide away somewhere...'
Ever heard yourself say the above? I work in a store that specializes in high end beauty products. Everything from skincare, fragrance to cosmetics; and on a daily basis I get to work with clients that are overly concerned about their looks. They want the latest and greatest. What's trending these days. How do I get the flawless look. What can I do to my skin to make it look perfect. How do I not age? You name it, I have seen it. Well perhaps not, as every day is a new day with it's own challenges. Point is, people are so worried about their looks and how they are perceived that they have lost any sort of self-esteem.
The above quoted remarks were actually made by a girl who came into the store on Tuesday night. Poor thing was so down on herself that she had become paranoid. She was convinced that people were talking about her, looking at her, and making fun of her. She had also told herself that her boyfriend was ashamed to go out with her. I felt so sad for her. I did what I could with our 15-20 minutes together to reassure her of God's love for her, how she is beautiful, and that perhaps people are looking at her because they are envious of what she has. It was difficult, as it seemed she had heard similar positive feedback before from others and it hadn't sunk in yet. Finally I had to say to her. "I can sell you hundreds of dollars of make-up tonight, but if you don't feel good about yourself, you will still think people are looking at you and talking about you. It has little to do with what you put on your face and everything to do with how you look and feel about yourself" It was hard for her to grasp that she controls how beautiful she thinks she is....and could be.
Every time I work there I am given an opportunity to make an impact on someone's life. People think working at a store like that is shallow and how by working there one just becomes a make-up snob. Oh if only you could understand. I am more than what I put on my face or my body folks. Every day, I get a chance to enlighten someone, bring a new perspective to another's attention, speak positive words in ears that listen, and show each and everyone how a bright smile can change your day. In one short shift I can have more impact on lives of others, than most do in months or even years. That's what I call an life enriching experience.
Listening to beauty advise from those on TV, makes just as much sense as jumping out the window, my dear readers. Know why? Because each of those speaking on TV, telling you what you should wear, and how you should wear it; gets dressed by others, gets made up by others...and are done up by others with lots and lots of help. So either you hire a ton of people and spend a ton of money, or you decide today, that you will not let the superficial world judge you. For there is but one judge of us all. And I assure you, He isn't going to be concerned with what you wear or how you look! So you, yes you, the one who's reading this...look within and ask yourself, how do I feel about myself today? Will I feel the same about myself tomorrow? Stand tall. Stay positive as you never know who may be watching and who you may have an impact on. Feel good about what you were given. You were created in the creators image. Do not forget! You are beautiful today and you will be beautiful tomorrow. Be proud of yourself and have self-esteem....a character trait that many lack these days.
Ever heard yourself say the above? I work in a store that specializes in high end beauty products. Everything from skincare, fragrance to cosmetics; and on a daily basis I get to work with clients that are overly concerned about their looks. They want the latest and greatest. What's trending these days. How do I get the flawless look. What can I do to my skin to make it look perfect. How do I not age? You name it, I have seen it. Well perhaps not, as every day is a new day with it's own challenges. Point is, people are so worried about their looks and how they are perceived that they have lost any sort of self-esteem.
The above quoted remarks were actually made by a girl who came into the store on Tuesday night. Poor thing was so down on herself that she had become paranoid. She was convinced that people were talking about her, looking at her, and making fun of her. She had also told herself that her boyfriend was ashamed to go out with her. I felt so sad for her. I did what I could with our 15-20 minutes together to reassure her of God's love for her, how she is beautiful, and that perhaps people are looking at her because they are envious of what she has. It was difficult, as it seemed she had heard similar positive feedback before from others and it hadn't sunk in yet. Finally I had to say to her. "I can sell you hundreds of dollars of make-up tonight, but if you don't feel good about yourself, you will still think people are looking at you and talking about you. It has little to do with what you put on your face and everything to do with how you look and feel about yourself" It was hard for her to grasp that she controls how beautiful she thinks she is....and could be.
Every time I work there I am given an opportunity to make an impact on someone's life. People think working at a store like that is shallow and how by working there one just becomes a make-up snob. Oh if only you could understand. I am more than what I put on my face or my body folks. Every day, I get a chance to enlighten someone, bring a new perspective to another's attention, speak positive words in ears that listen, and show each and everyone how a bright smile can change your day. In one short shift I can have more impact on lives of others, than most do in months or even years. That's what I call an life enriching experience.
Listening to beauty advise from those on TV, makes just as much sense as jumping out the window, my dear readers. Know why? Because each of those speaking on TV, telling you what you should wear, and how you should wear it; gets dressed by others, gets made up by others...and are done up by others with lots and lots of help. So either you hire a ton of people and spend a ton of money, or you decide today, that you will not let the superficial world judge you. For there is but one judge of us all. And I assure you, He isn't going to be concerned with what you wear or how you look! So you, yes you, the one who's reading this...look within and ask yourself, how do I feel about myself today? Will I feel the same about myself tomorrow? Stand tall. Stay positive as you never know who may be watching and who you may have an impact on. Feel good about what you were given. You were created in the creators image. Do not forget! You are beautiful today and you will be beautiful tomorrow. Be proud of yourself and have self-esteem....a character trait that many lack these days.
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