My loneliness and I...

We talk often
My loneliness and I

It has become my companion

I used to feel safe only in your arms
When you held me
Closer than your own heartbeat
I felt as if nothing could ever hurt me

Now...I hold tight to my loneliness
And it holds me back

We talk often
My loneliness and I

Reminiscing about what used to be
Memories of a time long gone
Though it was just a few days ago
Or has it been weeks
Or perhaps months...
To me it seems as if it were yesterday

When you held me in your arms
When you told me you missed me
When you kissed my lips longingly
When you made love to me...

If I had known it was the last time
I wouldn't have let it end
I would have held on with my dear life

But now I hold on to my loneliness

Yes...  my loneliness and I
We talk often...
Of times passed
Of the love we shared

It is my loneliness that keeps me safe now
It is my friend
It is what I have now
So I hold it...
As if I were holding you

My loneliness and I
We talk often

You're with me

Though you are not here
You are with me

In the silence of the house
In the emptiness of your room
In the smell of the air
You are with me

Oh how I see you all over
On the couch watching sports
In the kitchen making coffee
In the bathroom trimming your beard
I surely see you all over

Though you are not here
I feel you all around me
Everywhere I look...
There is a memory of you

In the clothes I wear, or
The jewelry I put on
The way I do my hair, or
In the way I look some days

There is always a memory of you 

Why are you here with me...
Yet so far away
You belong with me
No matter how much you deny

Say you miss me as I miss you
So I can sleep at night
Knowing
Feeling
Accepting
That though you aren't here
You're always with me

All I have left...

Are pieces of a broken heart
Leftover from the love we once shared
How wonderful it was
How real
How powerful
It allowed me to let go of my family
Of my friends
Of everyone
And now...
I am left with nothing
But a broken heart
And memories
Of what we had
Powerful memories
Of you
Your smile
Your care
How things change
How love disappears
I will never understand
No matter whose fault
One of us tried
Both of us have differing opinions on whom
One thing is for certain
Only one of us still loves
One of us is holding on to the positive memories
The ones that took my breath away
The ones lives can be built on
Though this life was destroyed
I still hold on
To what I have left
Pieces of a broken heart
It's all I have left of you...

Never would have thought

That one day we couldn’t even talk

Wouldn’t see each other

Wouldn’t love each other…

Well…  I still love

But your love has ended

Not sure what I did

Or when I did it

But you stopped loving

Yes I said things.  Wicked horrible things

Were you innocent?

Are you still….

No relationship works with one person

Relationship = two people

One person can only do so much

You say the same though

Without conversation

Without understanding

Without compassion

There is nothing

You have none

I do… and will always

Always the victim you were

Still are

Wicked I am…horrid I am

Yeah, blah blah blah. 

That’s all you hear

When I plea

When I beg

When I try to explain

One sided

For a long time

So here we are

At the end

Of whatever we once were

Is it my fault?

Sure, I will accept the blame for this too.

Don’t worry

Just be happy that you no longer have me causing you pain

Good Bye from the one who loved, loves and will always love you…